Trapped Within Myself
by Aroz-Skyline
Summary: Heero and Duo are sent on a mission to infiltrate a base -- but I promise this story is different than any other base infiltration you've EVER read... Warnings at top.


**Title:** Trapped Within Myself  
**Author:** Izora Jade  
**Dedication:** To Shi-chan so that there is a fic like this out there! ^_^  
**Warnings:** Cursing, psychical abuse, starvation, shounen-ai  
**Timeline:** I don't think there is anywhere in the show for this to take place, so don't bitch at me, please? *begs* I don't know the exact events of the show moment to moment, and I'm away from my dvds right now so I can't check. *sob*  
**Pairings:** 1+2, 3+4 is implied  
**Notes:** This fic has some VERY personal background for me seeing as my father is a diabetic of Type 1 diabetes. He's lived with it his entire life and I went through hell sometimes because of it. He wasn't exactly one to take care of himself. But I'm not going to turn this into let's have a pity party for Izora Jade'. However, if you would like to know anything (whether from my personal experience or from a list of sites I have with information) then I will be more than willing to help you out. ^_^ There is no cure, and I live with that fact every day. The more people know about this disease, the better it is for those living with diabetes.  
**Feedback:** C&C, flame, pocky, and rotten tomatoes greatly appreciated!  
**Disclaimer:** Of course, I don't own these characters, I am merely playing with them. If I did, I'd probably have enough money to find the cure for diabetes and I wouldn't be working at an ice-cream shop. They are all property of the Gundam Gods, not me. Don't sue, I'm poor.  
  
Begin Part One  
  
Duo sighed as he looked down into the empty pint of Ben and Jerry's Half Baked'.  
Where did it all manage to disappear too?  
He knew when he picked it up at the store that he was going to make a mistake bringing it back to the safe house and that he wasn't going to eat it slowly, especially since he was alone with Heero.   
It always depressed him to be alone with Heero.  
He had a crush on the boy since they met, but Heero paid little to no attention to him. Duo pulled out all the stops and flirted outrageously, but Heero seemed to lack all interest in him.  
Maybe he really was going for Relena...despite his protests.  
So, like a normal down person, he ate sugar, but there was a large downfall to that because he wasn't just a normal' person.  
This was going to kill him.  
He stood and threw the carton in the small trash can and washed off the spoon.   
It was actually one of the better safe-houses he had been in. It looked like it was actually a real house, once, maybe a log cabin. It had a small living area, a small kitchen, a working bathroom, and a small bedroom.  
The idea that it was once an escape cabin and that people once maybe went to that bedroom for the mere pleasure of sexual intercourse was killing him. Of course, he and Heero slept near each other on the floor. There was only one blanket, and it was cold as hell at night! Duo wouldn't sleep with it if Heero didn't too, so Heero succumbed for whatever reason, and they slept together on the floor under a shared blanket.  
It still puzzled Duo as to why Heero let in, as he washed the dishes, glancing at where Heero was sitting in the corner, his fingers clicking over the keys.  
He had to think something of him to feel enough for him to not let him be cold, right? So at least that was a good sign.  
However tomorrow they would just move on. Had to infiltrate another base then report back to Quatre.  
Quatre should be at his mansion, or so the plan went. He was there to appease the fears of his people at the moment. People in panic were uncontrollable so they understood the need for him to be there to comfort the people.  
Duo expected that Trowa would show up there. It was always interesting to see them together. To felt like there was something behind their words that you weren't a part of and that you would never be a part of.  
Something that Duo wished he had with Heero.  
He waited for the ice-cream to settle in his system completely by sitting down in the corner diagonal from Heero, laying his head against the wall and watching him through half-closed eyes.  
His face was illuminated by the glow of the computer screen, giving it an eerie blue cast. His eyes were intent on whatever he was typing. Duo always wondered what he typed so much of. It seemed impossible for any human to type as much as he did. He rarely ever stopped. Didn't he have to read stuff, too?  
Duo watched as he nibbled on his lower lip. It was a nervous habit Duo didn't think Heero realized he had. Duo smiled a little to himself. Heero was human, after all. He was merely a fifteen year old boy, just like Duo was, no matter how difficult that was to believe sometimes.  
He began to think of how well trained Heero's fingers were and tried not to giggle at the thought. He had to wonder how Heero's lips would taste in his mouth.  
Of course, he'd kissed many people, but there was rarely emotion behind it. This had to be so much different because there would be so much emotion behind it....  
He had slipped into his thoughts and when he came to, he realized his fingers and toes felt all pins-and-needles.  
God-dammit,' he thought, standing. He knew that eating that ice cream was going to fuck up his blood sugar, and now it did.  
He stood and walked into the bathroom, locking the door. He pulled a small bag out of his pocket and opened it up.   
He took out a tester and a test strip, picking up the small, pen sized instrument and pressed it to his ring finger. With a small poke, he drew it away as blood began to bead on his finger tip. He then picked up a test strip, covering the little pad with blood and inserting the other end into the tester. He wiped off his finger with a little toilet paper. In a few moments there was a small beep and the numbers on the screen read 243'.   
What a bitch, he muttered under his breath.   
He threw the toilet paper and test strip in the toilet, flushing it so that there would be no traces so Heero could suspect anything.  
Heero would just look at it as a weakness and put him down for it. He didn't need any more reasons for Heero to ignore him.  
He pulled out a needle and a tiny bottle of insulin and measured out the right amount to knock his blood sugar back down to at least 130'.   
He then made sure to put the used needle in another pocket than the unused one and put everything back neat and tidy and slipped it back in his pocket.  
He glanced at his watch and it read ten thirty.  
If they were going to kick some ass tomorrow, they had to be rested.  
Duo walked out and put his hands on his hips, staring down at Heero.  
You almost done?  
Heero didn't even look up at him.   
If we're gonna kick some Oz ass tomorrow, we need a good night's sleep.  
I know.  
Well then shut down your little lover there and come to bed.  
One second.  
Duo sighed, exasperated.   
Duo waited five minutes and finally Heero started to boot down the computer.  
You know, you shouldn't be so exhapserated when I got our id's into the computer base there so that it's easier for us to get in.  
Duo blinked as he walked over and put his lap top in it's case.   
How did you do that?!  
Heero's face wasn't visible, but his voice sounded amused as he replied with one simple word.  
  
Duo growled. Heero, sometimes you really annoy the hell out of me.  
More than sometimes.  
Just stop with that! Just stop! Duo told him, grinning as they walked into the bedroom.   
Heero lay down on his back, against the wall, as he usually did. He didn't ever sleep in a different position, he always slept on his back. Once Duo asked him about it, but his reply was just that it was better because your organs were aligned or something, but Duo still thought it was terribly uncomfortable and rolled over on his side, pulling the blanket up around them. He could barely see Heero's face in the dead light, but he could feel the body heat radiating from him.  
  
  
Do you think this will ever end? Duo asked quietly. He always hated infiltrating bases and blowing people up. Afterwards it wasn't so bad. When all his adrenaline was pumping, it was hard to think of how many people you just killed, you were just glad to get out.   
But before you had to think about it. You were going to go out to kill people when you had already killed so many others. That was when you began to rethink all the other people you'd killed.   
Of course it will, Heero replied matter-of-factly.  
Do you really believe that?   
To every beginning there is an end and to every end there is a beginning.  
  
This began, it has to end so that something else can begin. That's all anything is. Beginning and endings. Now go to sleep. You wanted to, after all.  
He sounded annoyed and said a lot more than Duo expected him to say, so he decided not to bother Heero any longer.  
He was a little comforted by Heero's faith, or explanation, at least. Heero believed that it would end, so it seemed, and Heero was the most logical person he knew.  
Not to mention he was crushing heavily on the other and blushing even as he thought of Heero's words.  
Heero talked to him!  
Duo felt like a high school girl who was just waved at by the football star.  
He never thought of himself as a homosexual until he met Heero and he was more taken with the boy than any girl he'd ever met. He felt more like a crush where as girls just felt like friends to him.  
Not to mention Heero was so attractive....  
He realized Heero's breathing had become deeper and his mouth was parted slightly. Duo slid a little closer until his body was touching Heero's and looked at his face.  
Heero didn't wake.   
Duo smiled. Obviously he trusted Duo enough that he didn't wake up as soon as their bodies made contact. That just made Duo feel even more fluttery inside.  
He was glad that Heero was around. It gave him a pleasant distraction, trying to win over Heero's affections. He didn't have to dwell on the war that way.  
He was so beautiful....  
Slowly Duo snuggled into his shoulder, his warmth feeling good against the cold of the bare wood floor.  
Finally, he let himself slip into violent dreams....  
  
End Part One


End file.
